Don't Renege on Your Release

Breathing hard between exercises, I answer the call by saying, "Hello."

Seeing that it's my son's school, I can only think of two things:

1.) It's the nurse letting me know I need to pick him up early because something's wrong.

OR

2.) He's gotten into trouble.

It's the #1 reason, but only partially.

The nurse says (and it's not the regular nurse because I don't recognize the foreign accent on the other end of the call, and I figure Mrs. Worthington is out for the day), "Hello, Mrs. Payne. This is Such and Such from the school, and I have Asa here in the nurse's office with me."

I say, "Oh? What's going on? What symptoms is he experiencing?"

She replies, "He's complaining that his stomach hurts and that he's just not feeling well. I took his temperature and he does NOT have a fever. He ate his whole sandwich for lunch. He is complaining that he feels the need to throw up, but he has yet to do it. I really don't have much concern [but am calling you to err on the side of caution]" -- (words in brackets are my inference based on her tone of voice).

I say, "Oh boy. Well can you please do me a favor, ma'am?"

"Sure," she replies.

"Can you tell Asa that his mom says that maybe he should stay home tonight and not go to his friend's birthday sleepover since he's not feeling very well? Let me know how he responds, please."

Oh, YOU KNOW the response that comes back.

After taking a few seconds to offer my solution to Asa, she tells me, "He says he thinks he might start feeling better and that he's gonna' try and go back to class (giggle -- giggle)." She then adds, "Way to go, Mom!"

After a snicker, I say, "Please let him know I'll see him at PICK UP TIME, and thanks for calling. You have a nice day!"

Gotta' say I felt warm and tingly in that moment.

TRIED THE OKIE DOKE!

First of all, I had the day off because I took our 4 year-old to his annual doctor's appointment, and I believe that because Asa knew this, he thought he could play around with my availability.

NOT SO!

Secondly, I was at the end of a workout at the gym, and that phone call broke my flow with the potential to put me behind on the schedule I had going that day. Petty or naw?

Thirdly, I love the way the Holy Spirit works within His peeps. And because He's teaching me not to worry about the words I'll say but to trust Him to give them to me at the proper times, beauty just masterfully flows out LIKE IT DID on this phone call! So, because his mama is lovin' this Holy Spirit thang, Asa had to go on 'head and internally fess up with the truth behind his actions. He thought he had me for the okie doke, but I called his bluff!

And yes! In this, I've I picked up on a continued message God's begun talking to me about. He's saying if we're going to come on over to belief in something He says to us, we ought not go back to what we left. We've no need to return to former levels of faith or pull back on the confidence to which He's raised us. We've no real ground to renege on any baggage we've learned we can release.

NO ONE PICKS ME FOR SPADES

I remember my college days when I was taught, by my college roommate and lifelong sister friend LaShawn, that I'm not a very good spades player. I'd join spades games, thinking I was playing well with my partner, only to be told that I kept doing what's called RENEGING. You know what that is. It's when you play a card that's not the same suit of the card that leads when you actually have a card in your hand that can follow the leading suit. Yeah, well, I kept doing this. So, it's needless to say that since college, I'm happy to be a part of the social commentary around a spades game, but asked to pull up to the spades table for playing, I am not.

So, God's taken me through a season of giving Him my worries and fears, my anxieties and just old mental habits (which have no business with me anymore) of trying to control the past, present, and future -- PRIDE, basically. He's taken me by the hand and has walked me through a type of wilderness where I've had to discover who I am all over again because He's shown me what my perception of Him should really be ... just how aware of Him I should want to always be. And in my mind, He's been more than patient with me through all of my reneging while trying to get my posture right.

THE WILDERNESS DONE MADE ME DANGEROUS

In this, though I've not been able to just pull away from the rest of society, from my family, or other responsibilities, and have constantly been around people, for a considerable amount of the time here, I've felt quite alone while trying to learn the ropes in a place like this. But I'll tell you what -- I've refused to give up on allowing God to simplify things down to the least common denominator for me. He's showing me the pure gold He's brought me forth as (Job 23:10). And in this I've learned to keep my hands open so I don't get comfortable with tightening my fingers around any single thing in my life ... nothing that I encounter -- God's teaching me -- should have the power to force me into a space where I'm not most aware of Him. For when I'm most aware of Him, all other things take their proper seats.

This is when peace that passes all understanding is allowed to guard my heart and mind (Phil. 4:6). Christ Jesus has made it so that I can ask God, AT ANYTIME I WANT, to readjust my focus to the point where it pulls the rest of me into the space where I'm resting in the truth that 1.) God loves me. 2.) God speaks to me. 3.) God constantly tells me the truth about everything He shares with me. And He's told some excellent things, ya'll. This, right here, is deadly to the kingdom of darkness. For, a person who walks about knowingly carrying heaven's by-laws within -- understanding how to execute them in the earth, is a force to be reckoned with BECAUSE OF GOD.

So, ain't no good enough reason, really, to renege on the level of relationship that God earnestly wants us on with Him. He's been putting in the work on us since He wrought us, and I now see it as an honor to be elected to let go of what's former in order to latch onto what's present. I'm wrapped up in a God who can masterfully instruct a people to trust Him to annihilate enemies of the past, which causes us to fall madly in love with Him in the now, as He walks us through, on dry land, to what's next.

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#Renege #Spades #Release #TrustGod #OkieDoke