Who's Parenting Whom?

Chile, parenting ...

Ever felt or caved under the perceived pressure of other people watching while you parent? And don't let it be a tense moment when your child or the children you have charge over act out or display less than desired behavior. You've felt those watchful eyes burning a hole in the back of your neck or the side of your face saying, "Oh! You BETTA do somethin!" haven't you?

Well these days, being candid and bare before God in all things helps me not to cave under the unspoken expectations of others when it comes to the way I parent. I know I need God's help in everything else, so why not ask Him for help with parenting too? I mean, He is the ultimate parent. What sense does it make to avoid His advice about what to do with these peeps He's given us charge over? And then here's another thing ... asking for help from others is wise too. Our boys run into behavior bumps here and there, and hubby and I have been leaning on our family members and trusted friends, to lend a hand in advice, correction, encouragement, and just that love stuff. Shoot! We appreciate and are grateful for this communal lift in building our boys, ensuring they develop as God would have it.

I mean, sometimes I don't feel like parenting (throwing stones, are we?).

Do you ever think about God not feeling like repeating what He already told you? Or that He just doesn't feel like explaining some things to you? I thought about this when my son asked me to explain something to him while we rode in the car the other day. He didn't ask me anything complicated. It was something that required me to explain a couple of steps to him that I just didn't feel like exerting the mental energy to do.

COME AGAIN?

My new homie Sarah Jakes Roberts, who's becoming one of my favorites to hear speak, spoke a message called God Listened. In her message, she talked about God responding to our prayers that are followed by our request for Him to "come again". She referenced how people who are hard of hearing may ask you to "come again" when you're talking to them and they don't understand what you've said (I remember this as a southern girl growing up in Texas). Pastor Jakes Roberts got to a moment in her message where she said that sometimes, God won't "come again" because you done already heard Him say what He said several times. He done obliged you and done "come again" repeatedly.

WHAT'CHA ASK FUH IT FUH!?!?

Ricky Smiley has a stand up routine where he talks about his grandmother who'd, when he was young, get mad when her grandkids asked for food but didn't eat it. He specifically talked about asking her for a banana once, and when she gave him a way-past-ripe one ... you know the one I'm talkin' about ... the one that's barely holding on to its peel ... the black one you can smash just by looking at ... that one! After seeing it, he told her he didn't want it, and she roared back, "Well whut'cha ask fuh it fuh!?!?" in that southern black grandmama type of way!

GOD BE LIKE ...

You think it may be the same way with God? We ask Him for something, and when He gives it to us, we forget how hungry we were at the times of request and hit moments when we no longer want what He gave us, correct? I really do wonder if God rolls His eyes at this kind of stuff.

So, in the times that my children require mothering when I don't feel like it, or the times when I want to jump off the school teacher train before it's time, or the times when I internally (and externally) roll my eyes at the husband I fell head over heels in love with in my 20s, I think back on just how thirsty I was for these people and opportunities before God blessed me with them. There's the process of having the babies (after miscarrying one and falling down the stairs with another in the womb -- which happens to be the younger boy who's elation I can currently hear in the other room as I type this at the chiropractor's office). Then there's the job that, almost 15 years ago, was essentially handed to me ... the one I didn't have to interview for. And the courtship that was initiated and looked after by consistent Words from God and godly people who love us and chose to stand in the gap, holding us accountable. I'm reminded to appreciate God for what He's given me ... what I've asked for.

FUH REAL, FUH REAL?

Here's a twist though. What about when we question God, asking Him to "come again" after we've heard something from Him that we're not sure is really Him or just our own desires ... you know what I'm talking about? What about when He says something we actually like to hear? Something we didn't even initiate? About six months ago, I started to hear some things about the next chapter for my family and me that put excitement in the air of my world. I went back to God several times asking, "God, really?" I started to pull on some ladies whose prayer lives I respect, asking them to pray around what I was hearing so that I had some accountability and didn't just run with what I heard because it sounded favorable to me. And what did God do? He kept pouring and pouring what He was saying into me. It seemed He didn't mind "coming again", but I believe this is because of my heart posture. I've hit a space, where regardless of the Word, I really want to be obedient. So, I don't want to even get remotely comfortable with just an idea or wish that I have, calling it God. I'd rather hear the truth and get comfy with that. This way I don't have to get over hurt feelings and deep disappointment after learning God never said what I said He said.

FACTS

God parents from a seat of stability. He makes decisions based on His infinite, Fatherly wisdom. He loves us and gives us what He knows will teach us the lessons we need in order to reflect His person-hood. He does this so we can shine as the beams of light He crafted us to be to this world. I can't afford to diminish my shine by trying to be the parent when I'm the child.

#Parenting #Child