Cornered and Better For It

I wonder how many people around you are ready to scream or burst at the seams. How many of them are on the verge of quitting? How many of them are suffering or struggling with something? How many egg shells do we walk on everyday out of familiarity with being UNfamiliar with folks? To how many people do we avoid saying something that could provide another option or present another way of thinking? How many opportunities for candor do we extinguish for fear of laughter, weird stares, or judgment?

Cornered

I've been pushed ... cornered ... by God in this time of my life, and from it comes a walk and conversation that's fueled by no longer caring about how I'm received. It's like the whole Clark Kent phone booth yields Superman type of thing but not really, considering that I've been changed while living and moving with the pace of life I've been graced to flow with. I've not been tucked away in a four-corner hide-out or closed in from society (though many times I've wanted to be). Life's kept right on moving for me, as it has for everyone.

A few years ago, my world, as I knew it, actually spun out of control, through demonic attack on my mind, which exposed me to a whole new level of warfare. And I've learned, like I've never known before, to ... depend ... on ... God ... and what HE says about me. The attack quickly showed me I was no longer Mrs. IN CHARGE like I foolishly thought I was, as I was stripped down to focusing on the basics of my Christian walk ... taken back to my ABCs of faith. Yes (and quite honestly), up to that point I'd depended on and believed God. I'd been plugged into Him and was doing what I knew to keep things simple and obey Him. However, through this warfare, He's shown me a deeper level of trust in Him, revelation of who He is, and knowledge of the weight His voice better carry in my life (YOU HEAR ME?!?!).

The Onslaught

All I know to say about the onset of this attack is that it came out of nowhere. One moment I was watching a movie at home with my son, and the next I was doing my best to fight off a barrage of horrible, fear-fueled thoughts, coming one after the other, in full onslaught mode. These thoughts carried the assignment of destroying my confidence in who God says I am, the quality mother I have the right and grace to be, and the bodacious babe of a wife He's equipped me to walk as. Within moments of this onslaught, I was in mental and emotional turmoil that had bewilderment and anxiety running rampant within me, playing laser tag. The walls of my mind and heart were being torched by fiery darts, and I thought, "What, in TARNATION, is going on here?!?!"

Pages Out of Job

It's recently come out of my pastor's sermons that there's been some formidable warfare (that's Job-like in origin) happening in the lives of believers in this season. Just like it happened to Job in the Bible, there's been some spirit realm conversation about some of us, indicating God's confidence in our faithfulness to Him through WHATEVER. So, that hedge you felt lift from around you, letting some assigned attacks through ... check in with God about this. He might show you the AFFIRMATIVE He gave the kingdom of darkness to "try if they want to" with you.

Amazingly, through my season of warfare (not that I should've expected anything less), God's calmly and passionately pursued me with His wisdom, His Word, and His presence. He's been right there at every turn encouraging me, telling me over and over again that I'm who He says I am. He's been taking my resolve in His nature and ability down to developing more beastly roots. I bet Satan didn't expect the TURN UP this has brought outta me! I mean, realistically he should've just left me alone because he done barked up the wrong tree with this one and done unleashed a level in me that's pushing me to do my part in piercing his darkness.

Backfire

He's already seeing the oil drip from this pen as I write. He's seeing these messages speak to people who are going through or have gone through similar things, either having not voiced them or wondering if they're all alone. He's seeing the decimation of the believed lie that a Christian's life is void of trouble (Shoot! Sometimes it feels like a messy one on steroids). He hates that hopeless people are seeing the key difference between the life of a believer and that of a non-believer as trouble with Christ versus trouble without Him. And they're choosing life with Him, finding that "yet holding onto Him" will put them in a place of eternal rest versus eternal torment. Thank You, Jesus!

So, I inquire: What can compare to the position I hold in God's heart? What's worth more than knowing Him? Who or what could ever replace this God? And who or what has the audacity to try this in my life?

Nothing! No one! Game over! Deal done! Rules broken! Possibilities endless! Suuuuuu-weet victory!

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