Inside Out

Nicole Payne
Jun 16, 2019
5 min read

Updated: Dec 20, 2020

"We all have our own stories, each of us drawn by the Spirit in a unique way to the same place of understanding: God loves me." - Mary Jo Pierce

"And may you have the power to understand, as all God's people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep His love is." - Ephesians 3:18

Everything IN LIFE boils down to the fact that nothing and no one on this earth ... no "other created thing can" top or beat the love of God (Rom. 8:39).

This is freeing, people.

Why?

Because this means that nothing ... not the worst thing you can think of ... not the deepest and darkest secrets you wish to hide from everyone you think matters ... not the most supreme hurt that anyone or anything has caused you can truly trump God's love.

It's with His love that He pursues us like a stalker (for righteousness' sake) who just won't quit. It's in His love that He has the patient capacity to pick us up, dust us off, and love away our over-awareness of the things we allow to push Him aside. He shows Himself to us in such a way that He fills the places we thought were more worth our time, focus, and energy.

KITCHEN KISMET

It's amazing what happens with us when the way we see life changes while life itself doesn't change. The other week, I experienced joy just standing in my kitchen ... a kitchen that needs mopping ... a kitchen that houses a ceiling fan that currently requires a good dusting. With no majestic plans on my agenda for the remainder of the evening on this particular day, I was hit by the simple realization that God's teaching me the timeless jewel-of-a- lesson to be content in all things, and I stood there at the counter smiling for, what would appear to anyone who walked in on my moment, no good reason.

I believe many of those in the Bible who walked closely with and did super things in the name of God had this type of awareness tool tucked tightly in their hearts and minds. Therefore, their lives have been recorded in the most popular book on earth.

This leads me to where I currently reside. And at this point, I appreciate the place of godliness with contentment, which puts a rightful damper on the people and instances lined up to damage, deter, and distract me.

INSIDE OUT

Inside Out. Have you seen the movie? It's absolutely adorable and sooooooooooooo meaningful. It's about an 11 year-old girl named Riley who moves from a comfy life with her parents in Minnesota to San Francisco. The movie features Riley's emotional epicenter where we meet the five core emotions that guide her activity in life. There's Disgust, Anger, Fear, Sadness, and Joy, and they're all constantly at play within Riley. All things Riley can be attributed to them.

For example, when Riley starts her new school in San Francisco, the Fear emotion within her goes through several possible first day failure scenarios as he frantically runs around the headquarters in which he and the other emotions reside. Since Riley's early childhood, her Disgust emotion has freaked out, with much sass, when exposed to things like broccoli or bad smells. Her Anger emotion speaks aggressively most of the time and has been known to literally blow his top (spewing fire from his head) when something greatly displeases him. Sadness and Joy struggle the most with each other because Sadness is always ... well ... sad and depressed, and Joy runs herself ragged trying to keep everything in Riley's life happy and peachy, which leads Joy on a journey to a world-rocking discovery that the other emotions, namely Sadness, play pivotal roles in Riley's development.

Joy learns that her attempts to stifle them does Riley a disservice by removing the opportunities for Riley to build meaningful relationships in her life ... with her parents, her best friend, her teammates from her hockey team, etc. The over-absorption of what Joy tries to do in putting out every one of Riley's emotional fires drives away the chance for Riley to make core memories as she navigates through the challenges of feeling fearful, sad, angry, and disgusted. When her hockey team in Minnesota lost the championship, her parents were the ones to sit with her and comfort her through her tears, establishing a warm core memory of them loving her, being there for her in tough times.

MY POINT

What I'm building is that the things we go through in life are opportunities for our growth. When we learn how to receive help from the community of people and resources around us, we can create, not only ways to come out on the other side of our struggles, but we free ourselves of the burden of saving face all the time or appearing that we can hold all things together without any help. We basically tell pride NO!

Ultimately, what frees me is that my BIG GOD and FATHER sees me in every moment as I live. He's known me since before I was born. So, do I really think this God of infinite wisdom ... the God who IS love, will steer me wrong or leave me stranded in the middle of a process He started? I sometimes may hit patches where I feel the need to fear the familiarity that occurrences in my past want to still have with me, or fear the unknown particulars of what's to come. However, I know that 1.) God loves me. 2.) God has a purpose for me to serve, and 3.) Dat 'gummit, I'm gonna serve that purpose!

CLAP IT UP FOR THESE MEN!

So, with my resolve to constantly acknowledge my heavenly Father, I highlight this FATHER'S DAY as well as the men in my life who've been instrumental in my development regarding what I was put on this earth to do.

Thank you, Reverend David R. Montgomery, my father, who's done an earth-shattering and undo-able job of showing me how a man is to love his daughter. I'm thankful for John H. Montgomery, my paternal grandfather, who, I was told, rolled across his bed with glee after I entered the world. Thank you, Clyde L. Rogers, my maternal grandfather, who's never missed placing a birthday card for me in the mail these 38 years. Thank you, Cyruss D. Powell Sr., my stepfather, who lovingly took on the challenge of blending a family inclusive of an originally very sassy pre-teen to behold. Thank you, Reverend Dr. W. Raymond Bryant, my to-the-point pastor during my pivotal teenage years of falling in love with God for myself. Thank you, Pastor Lawrence G. Richardson, my pastor during my college years to current, who's taken my thirst for more of God, since the age of 18, and has pushed it to levels that have yielded crazy, great reward.

And thank you to the man who leads and has walked with me for the past 13 years of marriage ... the father of my two boys ... Mr. Kwesi C. Payne. You, sir, have my respect, love, and devotion to being the best version of the helpmeet for you that God's gonna' continue to help me be. Thank you for your patience.