FROM INJURY TO VICTORY!

I used to dread long car rides with my husband because [until recently] I've never been at complete ease while he drives. Just being honest, chile. But the other day, as we drove down to NC from MD to see my dad and stepmom, I realized I've grown to a greater place of appreciation for PROCESS.

BYE BYE, FORMER ME!

I used to get uptight about our departure times for road trips because I've always wanted to make the most of our time spent away from home. Driving for eight [nerve wrecking] hours or more just to turn around a day later and drive home is not this sista's cup of tea. So, the former me would've awakened (the morning of departure) anxious about the fact that we probably wouldn't leave home until the afternoon instead of pushing out at the wee hours so we could enjoy some of the day actually in our desired destination before having to go to bed because of the hour we'd finally arrive. Might I add that packing for a vacay requires a certain level of mental commitment and stamina (especially when you're packing with more than just two peeps in mind) that I'm rarely up for?

Anyway, over the past few years, God and I have become closer, and I'm certainly alright with this! The method by which He's chosen to draw us nearer to each other, however, is one I'd not have selected on my own. But [again] learning to appreciate process has been a piece added to the puzzle in this recent portion of my spiritual journey.

GOD DONE FLIPPED IT!

A few years back, seemingly out of nowhere, my mind underwent what felt like mental assault regarding my character and identity. One day my son and I were watching a movie, and BAM! Thoughts about me (in the middle of the film) being anything other than a child of God began to flood my mind. It was a mess! I thought, "God, what in THE WORLD is going on here???" I began to freak out at these thoughts, and I couldn't get my mental footing for a long while ... I'm talking years ... because of course, life just kept on churning ... all the while, I was trying to get a solid grip on myself, trying to re-grasp my level of peace as I knew it before this barrage of poor thinking unleashed on me.

Far was it from my readiness -- in that moment -- the nearby understanding that this was a set-up that could catapult me to where I now find myself. In that space, at that time, I didn't think about the fact that a wilderness God nudges you toward is a training ground waiting to sharpen you as a confident weapon for the sake of all things Kingdom.

In this wilderness, and with some good, professional Christian counseling, I've found that what God's been getting at all this time is a downright anchor securing me in the fact that my awareness of Him and His closeness to those who want to be properly postured -- regardless of the fight or scary place -- is ground breaking, world changing, and earth shattering for such individuals who fit this mold.

And I am one of such people.

My bent is to believe whatever He says and to do whatever He says. I just cannot live any other way ... I mean truly live. And it only makes sense to wholeheartedly believe everything the One who created me has ever said and ever will say to me.

STABILIZATION

This is how God's stabilized me throughout my wilderness walk. He's caused me to see that the ability to live with an un-phased disregard for fear, not allowing it to grip me, is the secret to knowing my freedom Christ has provided through acceptance of Him. This is because this posture pushes me to worry about nothing, which is what's instructed in Philippians 4:6,7. As a believer, when remembering not to worry is always at hand, I'm left to trusting in God and the written fact that He really is worthy of my cares and burdens (1 Peter 5:7). It truly is a waste of time [that I could be using to know His mind about a thing] to worry. I'm learning how to hunker down and truly put first things first ... to be built up in my most holy faith (Jude 1:20) with no false or superficial spiritual muscle for the sake of appearance.

A few years ago, I injured my lower back (which I'm still rehabbing today) from lifting loads too heavy for my physical ability at the time. Having come from years of organized athletics, I was used to being in the weight room and taking my body through the paces of heavy hitting resistance training programs. However, once I graduated from college, I quickly stopped maintaining this level of training. And so when, at some points later on (here and there), I wanted to try and get back to my college body and level of weight training, I went about it too hard and fast. My body was no longer accustomed to the level of fitness I once knew. So, when I got back into the gym more consistently (after my second child) and tried lifting heavy again, somewhere along the way, I messed up my back.

Because I wanted to look the way I did in college, I skipped right over the need to ensure my spine could properly sustain all the weight I was putting on it. I bypassed the need to properly rebuild my level of core strength and balance in order to get to my desired level of physical performance and appearance.

And so with that analogy, I push the message that I've learned to put first things first and go through the right paces of being built up ... regardless of what the experience looks like to others or myself. Getting a strong foundation on which to build and allowing God to put the pieces where He wants is critical to the sustaining strength of day in and day out living for His Kingdom.

I don't call the shots for my life. He does. And because this is the case, I'll build how He tells me to build.

And I'll be stable for it.

Go 'head God! 💪🏾💪🏾💪🏾🏋🏾‍♀️🏋🏾‍♀️🏋🏾‍♀️

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